Thursday, February 17, 2011

Selfish

The last month I have been more selfish than I have probably ever been in my life.  I spent time daily focusing just on me.  Sometimes for up to two hours at a time.  Housework has suffered.  Laundry isn't folded.  The kitchen is just surface clean.  But honestly, I could care less.

I've spent the last 30 days starting the change of a lifetime.  NOT a diet.  A lifestyle.  I work out 6 days a week.  I'm aware of every single thing that goes in my mouth.  I got rid of all the junk in our house.  I wasn't really cooking "bad" food, but it's a whole lot better now.

Here's the thing I have discovered about this whole process though.  It really is ALL about me.  I love my boys with everything that's in me, but this isn't for them.  And I'm not going to let them distract me from this.  The boy stays in his jammies longer so mommy can finish her workout.  I'm not always home to greet my hubby because I'm working out.  One part of me feels guilty about that, the other does not and I'm going with the latter.  Which is even more selfish.  But this one thing.  This one part of my life I have to keep for me.  Because at the end of this journey, when I get where I want to be we will all be better.  And taking this time for myself and being this selfish will make me better mom and a better wife.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Cake Drunk

Well this happened over the weekend.

First chocolate, first cake, first frosting.  It took him over an hour after his regular bedtime to finally fall asleep.  I'm beat, but he had a blast.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Twelve Months

One year ago today at this very moment I saw my boy for the first time.  He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.  I remembering crying and just saying "my love".  It's all I could do.  After almost an entire day in the hospital he was finally here and I couldn't believe it.


This past year has flown by.  Although at the same time I can't remember a time without him.  It has been amazing to watch him grow.  To see him come alive before our eyes and explore his world.  To watch as he has learned new things everyday.  I can't believe my little budder who snuggled to me every night for 4 months has become this little boy that is walking and climbing and into everything.

And while the past year has been wonderful, amazing, hard, stressful, life-changing, crazy, and unimaginable in every way I wouldn't change a minute of it.  Being able to be here with him every single day (except for yesterday!  I left him for the first time for over 24 hours yesterday!) and watch him grow and share those moments with him that no one else remember have been worth every minute.  I never imagined myself as someone that would enjoy this as much as I have, but I'm so glad I do.


Happy birthday my boy.  You are the joy of my life and the best thing I've ever done.  Your daddy and I love being with you and playing with and are so very grateful you are ours.  And while I want to hold onto to you forever and keep you just as you are I'm also excited to see who you will be.  I love you my Doodle.

Love,
Momma

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Blog Share Post

Here is the post from the blog share participant.  Here is the list of all the blog's participating again:
The Time for Change
Bright Yellow World
Reflections in the Snow-Covered Hills
Totally Serial
Daily Tannenbaum
Andrea Unplugged
Malfeasance
From Kim's Desk
Rediscovering Me
Mama Bub
Being Five
Nothing Is Easier Than Self-Deceit
Molly's Musings
Heidikins
Snarke
Did I Say That Outloud?
The Reluctant Grownup
And You Know What Else
Bwildered
Thinking Some More

Enjoy the post!


Let’s say you’ve been with your significant other for a long time. A REALLY long time. Nine years. You’re not married or engaged, but you’ve lived with him for about five years. You are very much in love with him. Among his many great qualities: He’s hyper-intelligent. He’s always able to make you laugh. He shares the same taste in books, movies, and music that you do, for the most part. He treats you well – he doesn’t go overboard with romantic gestures, but occasionally will bring you flowers for no reason. He goes out of his way to be kind and generous to your family. You’re as close to his family as you are to your own. You hardly ever fight. You share political views. This person is family to you.

There’s only one problem, but it’s a big one: He doesn’t have a job. Hasn’t had one for years. He applies for jobs here and there, but you know he’s not really making an effort, and he lacks a concrete plan for what to do with his life, career-wise.

Now, answer me this: Am I crazy?

This is the single biggest problem in my life. For the past nine years, my attitude has been that I shouldn’t get rid of a person with so many great qualities, including the fact that I love him, because he has this one problem. The problem is fixable. Right? But now it’s been nine years, and I’m starting to wonder if the problem will ever go away. I’m fine with not being married or planning for kids right now, but I do want those things in the future, and I’m getting this creeping feeling that it’s never going to happen.

I’m too old to be wasting my time with someone who doesn’t want the same things I do. He says he does, but with a lack of action on his part to make these things happen, I’m wondering if I even believe him anymore. Yes, I’ve expressed all this to him, but he just shuts down when this topic comes up.

I’m not the type to give ultimatums, and I don’t want to nag him. I’m not his mother. On the other hand, I’m sick of waiting for him to figure this out, I’m constantly embarrassed, and this problem needs to go away.

What say you? Am I crazy for being with a guy without a job? Would you be with someone who’s really great but unemployed?


Tuesday, February 8, 2011

It's that Time Again - Blog Share

I am participating in Blog Share once again hosted by And You Know What Else!  Just a reminder of how it works. . .

There are a bunch of participants and we all write a post and it is sent to anonymously to someone else's blog.  So tomorrow morning there will be a blog post here that is written by someone other than myself.  Please be kind to them.  Here is the list of participants:
The Time for Change
Bright Yellow World
Reflections in the Snow-Covered Hills
Totally Serial
Daily Tannenbaum
Andrea Unplugged
Malfeasance
From Kim's Desk
Rediscovering Me
Mama Bub
Being Five
Nothing Is Easier Than Self-Deceit
Molly's Musings
Heidikins
Snarke
Did I Say That Outloud?
The Reluctant Grownup
And You Know What Else
Bwildered
Thinking Some More


Look for the post tomorrow!!

Friday, February 4, 2011

Milkaholic