The Time for Change
Bright Yellow World
Reflections in the Snow-Covered Hills
From Kim's Desk
Nothing Is Easier Than Self-Deceit
Did I Say That Outloud?
The Reluctant Grownup
And You Know What Else
Thinking Some More
Enjoy the post!
Let’s say you’ve been with your significant other for a long time. A REALLY long time. Nine years. You’re not married or engaged, but you’ve lived with him for about five years. You are very much in love with him. Among his many great qualities: He’s hyper-intelligent. He’s always able to make you laugh. He shares the same taste in books, movies, and music that you do, for the most part. He treats you well – he doesn’t go overboard with romantic gestures, but occasionally will bring you flowers for no reason. He goes out of his way to be kind and generous to your family. You’re as close to his family as you are to your own. You hardly ever fight. You share political views. This person is family to you.
There’s only one problem, but it’s a big one: He doesn’t have a job. Hasn’t had one for years. He applies for jobs here and there, but you know he’s not really making an effort, and he lacks a concrete plan for what to do with his life, career-wise.
Now, answer me this: Am I crazy?
This is the single biggest problem in my life. For the past nine years, my attitude has been that I shouldn’t get rid of a person with so many great qualities, including the fact that I love him, because he has this one problem. The problem is fixable. Right? But now it’s been nine years, and I’m starting to wonder if the problem will ever go away. I’m fine with not being married or planning for kids right now, but I do want those things in the future, and I’m getting this creeping feeling that it’s never going to happen.
I’m too old to be wasting my time with someone who doesn’t want the same things I do. He says he does, but with a lack of action on his part to make these things happen, I’m wondering if I even believe him anymore. Yes, I’ve expressed all this to him, but he just shuts down when this topic comes up.
I’m not the type to give ultimatums, and I don’t want to nag him. I’m not his mother. On the other hand, I’m sick of waiting for him to figure this out, I’m constantly embarrassed, and this problem needs to go away.
What say you? Am I crazy for being with a guy without a job? Would you be with someone who’s really great but unemployed?