My grandma is dying. There is no other way to say that than just say it. She will probably be leaving us in the next few days.
Back in March we went to Bakersfield to visit her to say our goodbye's. We were told then that it probably would happen in the next 3 months. At the time when they said that I thought, "Okay, that's some time. I can see her a few more times." I just realized it's already been 2 months. I guess they were right on the timing.
This is my Dad's mom and his last living parent. As sad as I am right now I'm even more sad for him. My Grandpa died in 2007 just two months before I got married. Grandma really started going downhill after that. It was really sad because she would forget he had passed and everytime she remembered it was like it had just happened all over again. Since then she has progressively gotten worse. It's not even her health that has been so terrible but she just isn't there anymore.
When I saw her in March she couldn't keep track of who we all were. My dad says she will mistake him a lot for one of her brothers. So even though I was saying my goodbye's it was like she was already gone. She's not the woman I remember growing up.
She's not the woman who took two little girls right into her family and treated us as if we had always been there. I guess I shouldn't be surprised too much by that because that's exactly what my dad did and he had to have learned that love from somewhere. I remember driving to Grandma and Grandpa's late at night and our parents would carry us in and lay us on the pallet they made for us on the ground. Then in the morning we would hear Grandma and Dad singing in the kitchen while they made breakfast. And she would hug and kiss on us and tell us how happy she was to have us there.
I'm going to miss her but I know that where she is going she is going to be herself and so much happier. Plus she is going to be with Grandpa.