I'm tired. TIRED. TI-RED. I'm getting a little taste of being on my own this week. My hubby and I were fortunate enough that he was able to take a whole month off of work. But the last three days he has been helping my BIL out and working for him. On one hand I'm happy to help family and for the extra dinero, but on the other hand, I'M TIRED.
My boy got a cold at one week old. I cannot tell you what a bad momma I feel like to have a one week old with a cold. We took him to the doctor and our pediatrician (whom I LOVE!) calmed our fears and told us just to ride it out. He is getting better but his little cough kills me! Shakes his whole little body. The first two nights he had the cold I could sleep because I was scared to death he was going to stop breathing. So every single solitary noise he made I was awake. And now he has gone from being an awesome sleeper to a cat napper during the day. Let me tell you there isn't much you can get done when your baby only sleep 30 minutes at a time. My house is a disaster. Well, that's not totally true. I keep it picked up but there has been no dusting or cleaning going on. Which I suppose I probably shouldn't care about but I do. Especially when people want to come visit. Which I WANT them and need them to do. I don't want to seem like a lazy housekeeper!
My hubby has been quite amazing. We had a bit of a bump but we are figuring out how to help each other figure it all out. The first day he went to help my BIL, he walked in the door, took a shower and said, "Here give me the baby. You get out of the house for a bit." You've never seen anyone get dressed so fast in their life. Nor have you ever seen someone relish 30 minutes at the store like I did. And the nights when I didn't get any sleep he will take Jackson and let me go back to bed for a bit. Thank God for good husbands.
All in all I think we are settling in. Mommyhood is hard. I knew it would be but you know how it is. Knowing something and experiencing it are two totally different things. I'm just trying not to push myself too hard and let some of my perfectionism go. Which isn't easy for me. I've had my breakdowns and my moments of irritation. But I think I've pulled it together fairly quickly and straightened myself out. Besides one can't fall apart when one has this butterball to look at all day.