The Rules Kids REALLY need

So I TOTALLY stole this from Her Maj, but I just love it! I know a few teenagers I would like to share this with NOW.

THE RULES YOU WON'T LEARN IN SCHOOL:

Rule No. 1: Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teenager uses the phrase “it’s not fair” 8.6 times a day.

Rule No. 2: The real world won’t care as much about your self-esteem as much as your school does. It’ll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. (See rule No. 1)

Rule No. 3: Sorry, you won’t make $60,000 a year right out of high school. And you won’t be a vice president either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn’t have a Gap label.

Rule No. 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait til’ you get a boss. He doesn’t have a tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up he’s not going to ask you how you feel about it.

Rule No. 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different view on burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren’t embarrassed about making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Brittney Spears all weekend.

Rule No. 6: It’s not your parents fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of “it’s my life” and “you’re not the boss of me”.

Rule No. 7: Before you were born your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way by paying your bills and cleaning your room. And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood sucking parasites of your parents’ generation, try delousing your bedroom.

Rule No. 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers. Life hasn’t. In some schools failing grades have been abolished and class valedictorians scrapped, lest any ones feelings be hurt. Effort is as important as results. This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life. (See rules no 1 & 2).

Rule No. 9: Life is not divided into semesters, and you don’t get summers off. Not even Easter Break. They expect you to show up everyday. For at least 8 hours.

Rule No 10: T.V. is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials. In real life, people have to actually leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule No 11: Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them.

Rule No. 12: Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic. Ditto for expressing yourself with purple hair and/or pierced body parts.

Rule No. 13: You are not immortal. If you are under the impression that living fast, dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse is romantic, you obviously haven’t seen one of your peers at room temperature lately.

Rule No. 14: Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain and school’s a bother but someday you’ll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now.

Who do you know that needs this list? Pass it on internet, pass it on.

Apron Giveaway

Over at the Apronista they are giving away the MOST adorable apron! If you love aprons go and check it out!!!

Flirty Apron Swap

So I participated in the Flirty Apron Swap this last time around. The theme was Your Dream Vacation. My dream was somewhere tropical. My partner's was Ireland (which I love and really, really, hope to go back and visit again someday.

I sat down to start sewing the apron for my partner and my gosh darn sewing machine broke. And because I am, of course, a procrastinator I only had one week to jump on Etsy and find something suitable, get it and mail it out! Here's what I sent:

The cutest little apron

Irish magnets

Pin for the apron

My favorite Irish tea, the candy bar I had when in Ireland and some yummy steak sauce. I also sent her a menu for an entire day of Irish eating.

And here is what I got! I LOVE these colors. Sunshine and summertime. That's what it reminds me of!

Box full of goodies!

Fudge, taffy, and some taffy chews

I love this apron! And I really love the towel loop! Thanks Beverly!

Evil insects

This is what happens when you get bit by an evil insect (presumably spider) and have a crazy reaction to it. You ankle swells to the size of an elephants, you can't walk, it feels like it is on fire and it's hot and tender to the touch. It's a week later and the swelling is about at 10% now but good Lord. Something bit the crap out of me!

Mama got herself a brand new pair of wheels

It took three days of hardcore stress, 10 hours of negotiation and 2 fits of tears but we walked away with this hot mama at the right price. Our first LARGE marital purchase. I've named her FREEDOM. (because I FINALLY have mine back.)

Geez, lighten up.

Okay, so MAYBE, just MAYBE my last post was just a teeny, weeny, itsy, bitsy harsh. I'm having a week people. So let's lighten the mood with pictures of my ever-so-funny and always entertaining nieces.

Last Saturday we celebrated dear little Lovebugs birthday. She will be 3 tomorrow. She's such a snuggly munchkin. My favorite Lovebug in the whole wide world. Being the most awesomest Tia in the world I made 10 art smocks for her and her pals for her Arts and Crafts birthday party (yes, my sister is a genius. I'll tell her you mentioned it.) I am so very dedicated to my dear little LB that I STAYED UP ALL NIGHT FINISHING THE DADGUM THINGS. That's right. Not a wink of sleep for me. And to pay me back for my good effort some stupid bug bit me on my leg and it swelled up to the size of an elephants! Anywho, back to LB's big, fun day. Let's take a look shall we?

The birthday girl. How can you NOT love that face?

This is my oldest niece, Butterbean. And yes, she picked out her own fabric. So she's a bit flashy? Whatev.

I said, "Smile for Nina and show her your birthday smock!" and she said, "Bite the weiner, Rizzo."

I made these smocks people! Some peon's better get in them!

The one and ONLY time little L was STILL. I might rethink my plan on boys.

I leave you with this picture, dear readER ( there MIGHT be two of you but I'm betting on one.). I know you don't want to see 230 pictures of my favorites girls but if you do click on on the above photo and it will take you right to all the pics!

See now that I have purged my soul and filled it with pinkness and cotton candy I feel so much beter.

Somebody's Gonna Lose a Head

Another day at the joy factory. I am seriously starting to believe that my co-workers aren't happy unless they are complaining or picking on us newbies and doing their best to make us feel inferior. And WHY? I mean seriously people. If you were doing your job you wouldn't have to worry about me doing mine and showing you up! It's obviously YOUR PROBLEM. And take your bitterness elsewhere. I'm having a hard enough time keeping a good attitude without you shoving your bad one in my face. I'm not here to TAKE your job. I'm here to do mine. GO AWAY. You're grinding on my last nerve and I'm about to snatch you off of it.

Hair today, gone tomorrow.

Okay, so that is the WORST blog title ever but whatev. Go with it.

I chopped all my hair off. I'm not just talking a couple of inches here people. I'm talking 8+ inches. EIGHT. I've had my hair this long for FIVE YEARS. That's a long time my internet peeps. Before that it was every length under the sun but I really stuck with this last hairstyle. The color changed but I loved having it long. I could do anything with it. But over the last couple of months it has become a dead beast hanging from my head. I wasn't getting it trimmed like I should b/c we were so broke. I was coloring it myself, which is never all that good for your hair. I was going to have to cut off at least 5 inches to get it healthy. But I thought, "Eh, why not go for the gold?" Plus, I was bored. I mean, I'm reinventing myself right? New home, new job, sorta new husband, soon a new car, new-old friends. Why not carry it all the way through? So I did.

Here's what my hair looked like last week. (Excuse my towel-wrap thingy. I'm a sweaty girl and I have to keep cool when getting all dolled up!) (Oh, longness. How I shall miss thy versatility.)

Here's my hair THIS week! (People have told me my WHOLE life that I look just like my mom. This is the first time that I have ever seen myself and thought, "Holy cow it's Debbie."

My mom is in the middle. Do we look alike? (That's my sis on the end, mom in the middle and me on the other side last summer.)

And here's what I did with it today. Because I'm lazy. And I'm bound and determined to find the quickest hairstyle possible. So of course, glasses and a barrette.

What do ya'll think? I'm still cute right?

Ever feel like the hamster on the wheel of life?

Do you notice what is the BIGGEST thing right now?

The funniest picture I think I own

My nose. Her eye. I seriously laugh out loud everytime I see this. Good times.

A SLIGHTLY better picture of us. Why do I look like I have horse teeth?

Using My Rights

I'm not very political. I'm not politically savvy. But this election scares me. Or maybe more accurately I am nervous about the candidates. So I'm gonna open it up here. Thankfully I don't think my two readers will get on me to much for my views. Please understand, you are few to comment as you will. But also remember this is MY blog and therefore MY VIEWS.

Here are two videos that I find very interesting regarding Barack Obama. Look, I'm not saying that McCain is the answer to all the problems. But I'm also not too keen on having a man in office that can't even be bothered to HONOR THE NATIONAL ANTHEM. I give you he is a dynamic speaker. I give you that he is different from the others. But quite frankly his differences only make me fear him more.

Take a look. Discuss.

So I'm a slacker, what are you gonna do about it?

I know! I owe you the big "NEW JOB STORY." But please, internet, be patient with me. I'm transitioning. And we all know how FUN that is!

Here's the short version on the new job that I got mere days after being laid off.

My brother did an internship for a VERY LARGE communication company (which shall from here on be known as The Big 'Ol Company or BOC.) over the summer for his Master's. He and I chit-chatted about his job a bit and he told me to send my resume on over him just to see what would happen. At this time I wasn't planning on leaving my job, wasn't looking for another and I certainly didn't know I was getting laid off! So I sent it over and within a few hours of my brother passing it along I had a phone call from one of the manager's asking me for interview. It just so happened that the day he wanted to interview me I had already requested off from work and was planning on being in good 'ol Cow Town. I go to the interview. It goes really well. Fantastic in fact. The manager wanted to hire me that second and send me off for training the next week. I put him off and told him while I was interested I did have some loyalty to my current job. Two weeks later I was laid off.

I decide to keep this info to myself instead of sharing it with BOC. They are still telling me they want to hire me but they have some administrative changes going on and things keep getting pushed back. So I'm in contact with them through the entire month of me ending things with my job. I finally get to the point where I just don't think it is going to happen. I had one week left with my last job and hadn't heard anything from BOC. So I start to panic. Because I was KINDA looking for another job but not really that hard. What was supposed to be my second to last day of my old job (they ended up letting me go 3 days earlier.) I get a the call I had been waiting for. The official offer. Whew. How's that for perfect timing? I got two weeks off to pack and move and then I started the new JOB.

I've had two weeks at this new adventure so far and all I have to say is "EH." It's tough right now because they really don't know what to do with me. They hired me early because they really wanted to get me on the payroll. So I have FIVE WEEKS of sitting in a cublicle in an office. So not what I'm used to. That's 8 hours a day staring at grey fabric walls. And they have me cold calling. For eight hours a day. Oh yes. I'm trying to keep a positive attitude about this. I know this isn't MY JOB, it's just to get me through this time. I have 3 more weeks in the office then they send me to SF for 9 weeks of training. It's going to be like being in school again! So I really won't get out and start doing my job until about the first of the year.

**SIDEBAR: Can someone PLEASE tell me when we got SO FREAKING CLOSE to 2009?!? I mean REALLY. Back to regularly scheduled programming.**

So I'm sucking it up and dealing with it all. Settling in with the Parental Unit is coming along. I think it is harder on the Hubs than it is me. I mean, they are my parents after all. There have been some very bright spots in all this. I'm seeing my sister and nieces on a weekly basis. I'm hanging out with my old Roomie again. So it's nice to have some company. Although I do miss my Fashionista Carol. (Hi Carol!) All in all we are stretching and growing. I'm looking forward to what is a head. It's a whole other chapter. I'm excited to see what comes.

I'm a thief

I'm stealing this from Michelle, who stole it from My Crazy Inbox. I want to do this SO BAD.


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