Saturday, October 11, 2008

Sadness disguised


I've been completely out of sorts today. Dropping things, running into stuff, burnt the chocolate for my chocolate frosting, overcooked the shrimp for dinner and undercooked the rice. I've stumbled through the day not quite sure why I felt so undone. After we sat down to the eat dinner that I have so effortlessly destroyed I couldn't take it and wouldn't eat it and ran off for some comfort food of the Bell. On the way it hit me. Tomorrow is it. Tomorrow is the day. And I started to cry.


Tomorrow I leave my hubby behind. I sleep alone again. I'm not greeted by Georgia's ear-piercing bark when I come home. I don't get to fall asleep to the symphony of my husband's snoring. I have been apart from him for more than 2 days since we've been married. I'm having a very hard time wrapping around my mind around this. I don't WANT to do this. I don't want to be away from him. We were apart our entire engagement and it was gut-wrenching. And we weren't even living together then. So I can't imagine how this is going to be.


I am excited. This is just me doing what I do. Furthering my career, working on making my life (and now my family's life) better and easier. And how cool to be in SF for 2 months. I have always wanted to live in the heart of a large city and now I get to do it for FREE. Think of the culture, think of food! And I KNOW there are a lot of cupcake bakeries! So I'll go, and I'm sure I'll have some fun, eat some good food and have a great time with my new pal EF, but nights is what will kill me. Crawling into a cold bed without his warm booty to put my freezing feet on is going to be no fun.

I love you baby and I'm sure gonna miss you. But it's for the greater good so tomorrow I'll paste a smile on my face so you won't worry but just know, I'll be crying all the way there.


1 comment:

Michelle, Queen of Everything said...

I know Bill's warm booty will miss your freezing cold toes, too.

And, whoa! Two months? I didn't realize it was that long. Are you at least together on the weekends? I'll have to come down and eat a cupcake or two with you.